Friday, August 26, 2011

School Conferences: Disciplining Your Child in the Presence of Others by Mrs. Dorothy Barron

School Conferences: Disciplining Your Child in the Presence of Others by Mrs. Dorothy Barron

Has your presence been requested by your child’s school for a conference due to your child‘s adverse behavior or action(s)?

You may or may not have foreknowledge of the reason (s) for the school conference; however, in Parents Taking Charge in Education Parental Guidebook Series 1, “How to Hold a School Conference,” one recommendation is that you request prior to the school conference the purpose and issue(s) to be discussed during the conference if not forthcoming from the school prior to the conference. Such affords you the opportunity to prepare, gather information and/or in this case, get your child’s perspective of the situation and have your child explain his/her behavior and/or action(s).

Parents, I would not presume to tell you when or how to discipline your child, but I would like to ask you to consider your actions during a school conference and the disciplining of your child due to adverse behavior or actions in the presence of others during a school conference.

Suppose you attend the school conference and learn that your child is at fault and the child’s behavior and/or action(s) totally unacceptable. As a Parent, you are displeased, embarrassed and/or angry at the child. You may even view your child’s action as a reflection of you as a Parent and/or your parenting skills. Parents, what you do at this point is crucial to all involved and parties present.

Ÿ  Be careful how you speak to your child- speak in a caring and calm voice.

Ÿ  Make sure your child knows and understands that his/her behavior and/or actions were inappropriate or incorrect.

Ÿ  Be careful of your actions. You have good intentions and may even feel it important that others in the conference realize you do not condone your child’s behavior or actions and are serious about correcting the problem, behavior and/or action. If you feel it necessary to discipline at this point, halt the conference briefly and remove you and your child to a more private place.

Ÿ  Do not use the situation as “tit for tat” or a means of retaliation; the child’s behavior or action(s) have embarrassed you and now, you choose to publicly embarrass the child. Consider disciplining the child later at home. Such gives both you and the child time to think about the situation and you, time to consider the best action(s) to take in rectifying the situation and/or dealing with your child.

Ÿ  If amends and/or restitution to others are necessary, do so and ensure that your child issues a sincere apology. Many Parents also issue an apology on both the child and Parent’s behalf.

I suggest you consider the above, because and from experience I have found that:

Ÿ  Educators often treat your child/ren the way you do.

Ÿ  The manner in which you handle your child and the situation speak volumes of you as a Parent, as well as your parenting skills.

Ÿ  Most children will disappoint Parents at some point and time. In this case, how you, the Parent handle the school conference publicly with your child can build or break a bond of trust and communication between you and your child. Should you allow the bond to be broken, others will use it to their advantage and you and your child’s disadvantage.

For more tips, see, by Author, Mrs. Dorothy Barron’s, Parents Taking Charge in Education Parental Mini-Guide Booklet, How to Hold a School Conference? Parents, do you also have your PTCnEd Parent- School Conference Tracker Mimi-Guide? It can assist you with keeping track of the conference and keeping the conference on track.

                                            PTCnED Parent-School Conference Tracker
Mrs. Dorothy Barron, Founder

Parents Taking Charge in Education (PTCnEd)

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