Friday, March 25, 2011

Dealing with the Problem Child- Part 1 of 2 by Mrs. Dorothy Barron

Dealing with the Problem Child- Part 1 of 2 by Mrs. Dorothy Barron
“Children’s actions are those of adults revealed; adults are those of children’s concealed” (Mrs. Dorothy Barron).

Dealing with the problem child or a child that has unresolved issues can be challenging and taxing physically, emotionally and even financially. When you have done all you can and problems are not resolved, there is one other remedy you may want to try if you have not at this time. This blog post article does not offer legal or medical advice, it consists of information for you to consider as you and/or your child work toward resolving his/her unresolved issues or problems. At times, the remedy proffered here has been instrumental in assisting some young people when nothing else has worked.

Your child appears fine up to a certain point and then all of a sudden he/she becomes someone you, the Parent no longer knows, can not relate to and often cannot talk to.
As a child matures, a certain amount of distancing of a child from the parent(s) is normal; the child is trying to establish his/her own identity or become his/her own person. Hopefully, you have been nurturing, supporting and communicating with your child/ren on an ongoing basis; you  have set rules, guidelines and limitations as you have continued to exemplify good and acceptable behavior which your child/ren can adhere to. When your child becomes a problem child, you may want to consider the following:

Ÿ  Ensure that your child’s problem or unresolved issues are not due to medical and/or serious emotional health problems.
Ÿ  Recall and remember what it was like at that age-such will give you pause to consider things from your child’s point of view.
Ÿ  Become more observant- sometime your child cannot explain, does not understand the source of his/her problem(s) or resolve it on his/her own and therefore, cannot discuss or resolve that which he/she does not understand.
Ÿ  Shield and/or limit your child’s exposure to some of the harsher realities of life until they are emotionally able to withstand such. Do not misunderstand the point made here;  there is a difference in your talking to your own child about the harsher realities of life vs. he/she being introduced to and/or inundated to those harsher realities by strangers and others via various forms of communication. Some may not care about your child’s tolerance level for such; however, you should.

We live in a topsy-turvy, uncertain and unpredictable World. The problem child’s unresolved issues may stem from one or more of the following:
Ÿ  He/she does not know how to handle the problem or issue
Ÿ  Fear
Ÿ  Loss or inability to trust
Ÿ  Loss of or inability to find his/her own identity- constant search to define who they are; where they belong and his/her purpose
Ÿ  Uncertainty
Ÿ  High level of morality- a child often views right and wrong in terms of black and white until taught the shades of gray.
Ÿ  Impressionable and easily susceptible to others
Ÿ  Recipients of Abuse
Ÿ  Sensitive and very perceptive- some of the most hard-core problem children are the most sensitive and perceptive within. They often form hard outer shells to protect and prevent themselves from being destroyed within.

I will not go into the actions or extent of some actions of problem children, but I will emphasize that children replicate the actions of adults. I will offer two examples as well as what you may want to consider as a remedy on next week in Dealing with the Problem Child Part 2 of 2 by Mrs. Dorothy Barron.

Mrs. Dorothy Barron, Author
Parents Taking Charge in Education

1 comment:

  1. A problem child only becomes a 'problem' if he/she sees the wrongs as right. By insisting that this is the proper way to behave, the child continues to do it anyway to get attention.

    Carolin Newmeyer