Friday, January 27, 2012

Parent-School Involvement when the Relationship is not amicable between Parents by Mrs. Dorothy Barron

Parent-School Involvement when the Relationship is not amicable between Parents by Mrs. Dorothy Barron
Sometimes when Parents are separated or divorced and the relationship is not amicable between the Parents, such can pose problems for the child/ren in a number of ways; one way is within the Education realm - through the child’s studies, academic performance and/or behavior. It can and often is a difficult period for all; it is important that Parents keep the child and his/her needs center and foremost.  Consider the followings ways which may assist you with doing so:
·        There may be some issues that remain unresolved between you and your child’s mother/father. Take time to write them down. Such can assist you with separating those which may not or should not have a bearing on assisting you child with his/her education needs.

·        Anger, frustration and other emotions can evoke all type actions and likely affect decisions; remain the adult in all situations. The child is counting on the Parents to make the best and wisest decisions for him/her both in and outside the realm of education.

·        Even if you and the child’s mother/father do not get along, respect each other for the child’s sake.

·        The child generally has feelings for both Parents; be careful of what you say. Speaking disparagingly of the other Parent can make the child feel disloyal, affect your child’s behavior, education performance and can eventually harm your own relationship with your child.

·        It may be wise to inform the child’s teacher of the separation or divorce without providing the entire history; the teacher will have a basis should changes begin to occur in your child’s school performance and/or behavior.

·        Even if you are not the custodial Parent, you are still the child’s Parent with responsibilities and obligations. Get involved and /or remain involved in both your child’s life and education.

·        If animosity exists between you and the child’s mother/father and the child’s education has become a contention between you both, confer with the child’s teacher(s) to consider ways you can assist your child academically; such may lessen the contention.

·        Do not criticize the child’s mother/father’s parenting skills. Counteract by pitching in; if the custodial Parent works full-time, they do not need, nor do most appreciate criticism; they may however, need your assistance. Have you asked? If assisting the child with homework becomes a problem for the custodial Parent, inquire of the teacher about resources or find some educational sites via the Internet to assist your child. If you and the child spend time together, offer incentives for completing homework assignments, accomplishing certain homework task, getting good grades and at times for trying.

·        You might be surprised if you knew some of the doubts, concerns and fears that occur within the minds of children when separation and divorce occur- questions ranging from whether the child was responsible for the Parents split or will he/she lose one or both Parents?  Here is a suggestion for you to consider - one or both Parents may want to with the child’s assistance put together a scrapbook and keep it updated. The child will have a constant and tangible item as a reminder of your care and love, along with his/her memories.
Parents, separation and/or divorce can be a painful experience. It can be next to impossible trying to get another person to change, especially another adult; the most each of us can do is change self, encourage and influence others by example. What is important in situations involving separation and/or divorce is that you lay aside your differences and/or animosities toward each other. More than likely, the child will experience enough stress due to your separation and/or divorce; try not to add unduly to it.  How you and your child’s mother/father interact and work through issues during this time and afterward will affect your child more than you will ever know, both now and in the future.
Mrs. Dorothy Barron, Founder

Parents Taking Charge in Education


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