Parent-School
Involvement when the Relationship is not amicable between Parents by Mrs.
Dorothy Barron
Sometimes
when Parents are separated or divorced and the relationship is not amicable
between the Parents, such can pose problems for the child/ren in a number of
ways; one way is within the Education realm - through the child’s studies,
academic performance and/or behavior. It can and often is a difficult period
for all; it is important that Parents keep the child and his/her needs center
and foremost. Consider the followings
ways which may assist you with doing so:
·
There
may be some issues that remain unresolved between you and your child’s
mother/father. Take time to write them down. Such can assist you with
separating those which may not or should not have a bearing on assisting you
child with his/her education needs.
·
Anger,
frustration and other emotions can evoke all type actions and likely affect decisions;
remain the adult in all situations. The child is counting on the Parents to
make the best and wisest decisions for him/her both in and outside the realm of
education.
·
Even
if you and the child’s mother/father do not get along, respect each other for
the child’s sake.
·
The
child generally has feelings for both Parents; be careful of what you say.
Speaking disparagingly of the other Parent can make the child feel disloyal, affect
your child’s behavior, education performance and can eventually harm your own
relationship with your child.
·
It
may be wise to inform the child’s teacher of the separation or divorce without
providing the entire history; the teacher will have a basis should changes begin
to occur in your child’s school performance and/or behavior.
·
Even
if you are not the custodial Parent, you are still the child’s Parent with
responsibilities and obligations. Get involved and /or remain involved in both
your child’s life and education.
·
If
animosity exists between you and the child’s mother/father and the child’s
education has become a contention between you both, confer with the child’s teacher(s)
to consider ways you can assist your child academically; such may lessen the
contention.
·
Do
not criticize the child’s mother/father’s parenting skills. Counteract by
pitching in; if the custodial Parent works full-time, they do not need, nor do most
appreciate criticism; they may however, need your assistance. Have you asked?
If assisting the child with homework becomes a problem for the custodial
Parent, inquire of the teacher about resources or find some educational sites
via the Internet to assist your child. If you and the child spend time
together, offer incentives for completing homework assignments, accomplishing certain
homework task, getting good grades and at times for trying.
·
You
might be surprised if you knew some of the doubts, concerns and fears that
occur within the minds of children when separation and divorce occur- questions
ranging from whether the child was responsible for the Parents split or will
he/she lose one or both Parents? Here is
a suggestion for you to consider - one or both Parents may want to with the
child’s assistance put together a scrapbook and keep it updated. The child will
have a constant and tangible item as a reminder of your care and love, along
with his/her memories.
Parents, separation
and/or divorce can be a painful experience. It can be next to impossible trying
to get another person to change, especially another adult; the most each of us
can do is change self, encourage and influence others by example. What is
important in situations involving separation and/or divorce is that you lay
aside your differences and/or animosities toward each other. More than likely,
the child will experience enough stress due to your separation and/or divorce;
try not to add unduly to it. How you and
your child’s mother/father interact and work through issues during this time
and afterward will affect your child more than you will ever know, both now and
in the future.
Mrs. Dorothy Barron, Founder
E-mail: barron.dorothy@yahoo.com
