Tips for Parents to Consider- Affirmation of and Conflict with the Child by Mrs. Dorothy Barron
Some parents feel that to give their children affirmation takes away or reduces their position as a parent; not so. You will always be the parent and should be respected as the parent in the relationship.
Conflict between parent and child: have you given matter to the thought that the reason there is ongoing and constant exasperation and/or conflict between you and your child is that the child is much like you. In the past, I conducted parental workshops. When I first suggest such to parents, some parent did not believe such was the case until I gave a homework assignment. I will provide it here; it was a simple process of observation. Parents were to observe the child without the child's notice for at least an entire week. The results- speechless, dumbfound, sheepish and amazed parents. Most did not realize that one simple exercise "Observation" could/would provide so much information about both child and parent.
Having this knowledge can provide you with a tool for resolving conflict between you and your child. Start by asking yourself, what would I have wanted my parent (s) to have done, or how would I have wanted my parents to have treated me or responded in this particular situation? Such gives you the opportunity to view the situation from the child's perspective and remember how it was when you were actually a child. Remember the things you were going to do differently when you grew up and had your own child or children; well, here's your chance.
Sometimes both conflict and behavior problems can be drastically reduced simply by respecting and seeking your child's opinions as it involves situations and circumstances.
In addition, may I offer a few suggestions for dealing with children at each age level-
Very young children need lots of praise; complement them on things that they attempt, as well as things they accomplish.
The middle school age level child is at the stage of testing his/her wings and trying new things and experiences. Give guidance and supervision, but also realize that this is an important stage in their growth and development. This is an excellent stage to seek their opinion on situations and matters.
Finally, the teenager- One of the best ways to interact and engage young people at this age, as much as possible provide them with choices in matters and situations. Such builds responsibility and maturity in the young person. You control the situation, boundaries and limits, yet provide your teenager (s) with a certain amount of freedom through choice.
Parents, these are suggestions for you to consider; the ultimate decision and authority as a parent rests with you.
Conflict between parent and child: have you given matter to the thought that the reason there is ongoing and constant exasperation and/or conflict between you and your child is that the child is much like you. In the past, I conducted parental workshops. When I first suggest such to parents, some parent did not believe such was the case until I gave a homework assignment. I will provide it here; it was a simple process of observation. Parents were to observe the child without the child's notice for at least an entire week. The results- speechless, dumbfound, sheepish and amazed parents. Most did not realize that one simple exercise "Observation" could/would provide so much information about both child and parent.
Having this knowledge can provide you with a tool for resolving conflict between you and your child. Start by asking yourself, what would I have wanted my parent (s) to have done, or how would I have wanted my parents to have treated me or responded in this particular situation? Such gives you the opportunity to view the situation from the child's perspective and remember how it was when you were actually a child. Remember the things you were going to do differently when you grew up and had your own child or children; well, here's your chance.
Sometimes both conflict and behavior problems can be drastically reduced simply by respecting and seeking your child's opinions as it involves situations and circumstances.
In addition, may I offer a few suggestions for dealing with children at each age level-
Very young children need lots of praise; complement them on things that they attempt, as well as things they accomplish.
The middle school age level child is at the stage of testing his/her wings and trying new things and experiences. Give guidance and supervision, but also realize that this is an important stage in their growth and development. This is an excellent stage to seek their opinion on situations and matters.
Finally, the teenager- One of the best ways to interact and engage young people at this age, as much as possible provide them with choices in matters and situations. Such builds responsibility and maturity in the young person. You control the situation, boundaries and limits, yet provide your teenager (s) with a certain amount of freedom through choice.
Parents, these are suggestions for you to consider; the ultimate decision and authority as a parent rests with you.
